Tonight, as I sat in class with my students, we discussed excerpts from "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". I had re-read this book while in India in December and on until January, upon my return, but oh, how we forget!
As we read the excerpts in class I saw the errors of my ways. I see now that I should have been more understanding, more patient, more open-minded towards you.
I was hurting and each person reacts differently to pain. Some back away and hide, as you did, and others confront this issue and perhaps, at times, beat it over the head. That's me. That's always been me and though I have tried to curb my natural tendancies, I suppose those few months of insecurity lead to my impatience. And for that I'm sorry.
I wonder, daily, whether things could have turned out differently. Was it really out of my hands? Would you have left me regardless of my support? Or did I drive you away? I want to talk to you, find a common ground, clear the air, but you have escaped and I am left here, questions photocopying in a never-ending loop.
My attempts to reconnect have gone unanswered and it tears me apart to feel as though I am the only one who wants this.
I go through the multitude of emotions in a 24 hour period: pain, sadness, anger, desperation, hope. But none of them matter because they start all over again the next day and I never get any answers.
I sometimes question my decisions, I question my person and see a continuous pattern in my relationships in the past four years. In all, they have left, given up, run away. What is it that I project? Did I push you away first? If so, how? Is it all my fault? Are you using me as a scapegoat for the wrong that has happened in your life? Is is fair? Is it true?
Will I ever get answers, or will I be forever in question?
As we read the excerpts in class I saw the errors of my ways. I see now that I should have been more understanding, more patient, more open-minded towards you.
I was hurting and each person reacts differently to pain. Some back away and hide, as you did, and others confront this issue and perhaps, at times, beat it over the head. That's me. That's always been me and though I have tried to curb my natural tendancies, I suppose those few months of insecurity lead to my impatience. And for that I'm sorry.
I wonder, daily, whether things could have turned out differently. Was it really out of my hands? Would you have left me regardless of my support? Or did I drive you away? I want to talk to you, find a common ground, clear the air, but you have escaped and I am left here, questions photocopying in a never-ending loop.
My attempts to reconnect have gone unanswered and it tears me apart to feel as though I am the only one who wants this.
I go through the multitude of emotions in a 24 hour period: pain, sadness, anger, desperation, hope. But none of them matter because they start all over again the next day and I never get any answers.
I sometimes question my decisions, I question my person and see a continuous pattern in my relationships in the past four years. In all, they have left, given up, run away. What is it that I project? Did I push you away first? If so, how? Is it all my fault? Are you using me as a scapegoat for the wrong that has happened in your life? Is is fair? Is it true?
Will I ever get answers, or will I be forever in question?
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