I Do Not Want This

I discovered Nine Inch Nails in high school. I'm not sure who introduced me to them or whether I found out about them on my own, but there was something about Trent Reznor's lyrics that spoke to me. He was able to convey to me a feeling that I could relate to even then and I can feel that sense of desperation, anger and hopelessness even today. He speaks to me still; it's as though he understands what I've felt, what I feel and how futile life seems at times. There is a comfort in knowing that thoughts and feelings can be conveyed to others in such different forms of art. An homage to Nine Inch Nails.

Thanks for your words, your music.

I Do Not Want This - Nine Inch Nails


I'm losing ground
You know how this world can beat you down
And I'm made of clay
I fear I'm the only one who thinks this way

I'm always falling down the same hill
Bamboo puncturing this skin
And nothing comes bleeding out of me just like a waterfall I'm drowning in
2 feet below the surface I can still make out your wavy face
And if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place

I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this

Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel

I stay inside my bed
I have lived so many lives all in my head
Don't tell me that you care
There really isn't anything now, is there?

You would know, wouldn't you?
You extend your hand to those who suffer
To those who know what it really feels like
To those who've had a taste
Like that means something
And oh so sick I am
And maybe I don't have a choice
And maybe that is all I have
And maybe this is a cry for help

I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this
I do not want this

Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
Don't you tell me how I feel
You don't know just how I feel

I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters