In a Name

I was named at least 3 1/2 years before my birth. Awaited with bated breath. And then my brother popped out and he went nameless for two weeks.

Funny story, this compulsion to name a human being with the most perfect of names, heedful of the potential implications of such a decision.

I was relatively luckier than other people. My nickname was refered to at the end of a conversation and they couldn't really turn it bad. I've heard this joke for at least 25 years and new people never cease to enjoy the sound it makes, like a compulsion to rhyme for rhyming's sake.

"See you later, Leita!" And I would look upon them and laugh, and say "I've never heard that before, very good", all the while completely bored by something they found so utterly refreshing. And also cognizant of the fact that they pronounced my name wrong...again. But such are the little joys in life. People need to find some joy and if my name can bring them that, well, I'm happy to help!

I was told I was named after a South-African singer, Leita Mbulu, that my parents had once seen in concert. I never questioned their story, though I did have issue with the name. Most people couldn't get it right and I just felt like I didn't belong. I wanted a normal, everyday name like Christine or Caroline.

I gradually learned to like my name, even love it, appreciating its uniqueness. I also learned not to care when people massacred it. It wasn't always worth correcting them.

When I was in university, a girl I met in class asked me about the background of my name. I told her the story I had told a hundred times before and this time I received a different answer:

"I know that singer. Her name is not Leita, it's Letta."

Below, a song from Letta Mbulu. About 2 weeks ago,I finally decided to look her up and it was a revelation to meet my namesake.

I stood there in disbelief. Could my parents not even get that right? They named me by accident? So I called up my mom and laid it down on her. I could hear the shrug in her voice. Oh well, we got it wrong, no big deal.

Funny how important a name is, to the extent that you hold on to it until you have a girl and then when you're told you misunderstood the name, there is abject disinterest. I guess when they appropriated the name, it was more for the sound of it. Letta Mbulu's name triggered something in them and the name they chose was then an extrapolation on that. Like taking something and improving upon it.

So from then on I had decided to attach my own meaning to my name. Like making my own definition in a baby book. What does your name mean?...it took me a while to find something that I thought would fit.

Eventually I settled for: She Who Travels ...as good as any other definition. It is who I am, what I'm driven by, who I accept to be. She Who Travels.

About 4 months ago, while working in a 4-star hotel with many Samoan women, I found another meaning to my name. As I told them my name, many would look at me with questioning eyes and ask whether I was Samoan. Eventually I was to learn that Le - Ita means Not Angry.

It was an exciting discovery. Finally, I had found meaning to my name in the least obvious of places and with the most obscure of cultures.

A few months later, surfing the internet and looking through Baby Names' databases I found my name again: Leita, Spanish for Strong Woman. It was perfect timing. A culmination of images and thoughts and feelings of 30 years on this earth.

So today I celebrate Leita, with two dots on the "i".

I am a strong woman who travels with no anger. This is me. This is who I embrace. And there is no other.